Weekend at Petey's

Friday, January 23rd

We decided to head to St.Pete to get a little R&R for the weekend with our friends Meg and Pete. We waited for Brianna to get out of school then headed west. We get on I-4 somewhere around Orlando, and we stay on it all the way to Tampa. We were looking directly into the sun for an hour and a half as we chased the sunset across Florida.




Saturday morning, Pete and I decided to for a run...........jog...........okay, we were walking fast. About halfway through, my calf gave out for no apparent reason. I think the last time I actually ran was when I went shopping with Shelby, she tried something on and said "John, now be honest"..........I knew better, but she looked so convincing........Anyway, It got worse all weekend, and the doctor told me that nothing was pulled, strained, bruised(except for my pride), that I was just old......I'm going in for a second opinion......

We spent Saturday afternoon at the beach with E and Brie....Here's what you get.









I did notice how some people are just morons and take these beaches for granted, there was garbage everywhere, we found a plastic bag floating in the surf and cleaned up as we walked along....





Brianna got bored looking for shells and starfish, so she decided to take a seat and contimplate her future......



Meanwhile, Ethan found either a sinkhole or quicksand, we're not sure which, either way, he wasn't skuurd.......



The kids then decided to catch a bird...




But, the closest they came was this.......




And, for the "you might be a redneck if..." portion of the program.......



Yikes! The only thing more ridiculous than that would be seeing adults posing in Army helmets! Even I couldn't hope to catch that on film!





Weirdos......................

Happy Birthday Nicholas!!

January 25, Nick turned 9. He spent it fishing with his Dad. We can't wait to see him next weekend. where we will have a belated celebration for our little American Idol wanabee...... We love you, Nick, Happy Birthday! Feliz Cumplianos! And see you soon!

The Sunshine State?

Not So Much............

The 44th President of The United States

Finally a man in office that has walked in the same footprints as Shelby and I....

50 people 1 question

Found this video while browsing through different blogs, Shelby wanted me to repost it on ours because it made her think of Whitney.


Fifty People, One Question: Brooklyn from Crush + Lovely on Vimeo.

Uncle Benny

To our family in Alabama, you are in our prayers. Wishing you a full and speedy recovery.

A sign that the Apocalypse is upon us.........

No, these pics aren't photoshopped, that IS Shelby, operating a leaf blower...

Circus Maximuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The Greatest Show on Earth! Not so much...........

I have never been to the circus before, and my instincts were correct all of these years. It was, however, a nice day as a family outing and a great place to catch up on some shuteye.

On the way to Orlando, we encountered a couple of interesting things. January through March is "fire season" in Florida. Coming from the Northwest part of the country, this makes about as much sense as eating something called "grits" or playing golf with alligators, but hey, I'm just here for the ride. I was able to get a pic of the fire with a Ron Jon billboard in it, how touristy is that?



The other thing we encountered was a Beautiful, Intelligent, Tasteful, Classy, Heartbreaker...And she proudly displayed these attributes on the window of her truck with this acronym.........



We finally arrived at Amway Arena amid the protests of PETA, who were outside with handmade headstones of every animal that has died in the last 50 years( which included a dog I had when I was 8, named "Snarf"). What I found interesting is that they were doing some abusing of their own. Check out how malnourished their elephant looked..........



We arrived early, which afforded us time to take a peak at the beasts before hand. Here are some shots of the Elephants warming up before their performance.





Next were the Tigers,RAWR! I was pleasantly suprised by their roomy cages...



Hey, it could be worse, they could put two tigers in a cage that size...........



Ahem...........Anyway, back to the elephants! I finally found someone with uglier feet than mine!



The time to enter the arena finally came. Thousands were enticed by the relatively "cheap" ticket price of $20, only to me met inside by incredibly insane prices once you already promised your kids a snack. $12 for cotton candy, $7 for a small box of popcorn, it was criminal. At least the Ringling Brothers aren't breaking any child labor laws..........



Here's what we saw once the show started.........











The only intrigue all day was which tiger was going to say "enough" with being whipped by the german "tiger tamer". Everytime they were ordered to do something, they were whipped and roared with displeasure, they were pissed. But, once the German dude escaped unscathed, my interest waned once again. My favorite part was the end.

I would Highly recommend bypassing this event when it comes to your town. What is supposed to be a fun day of family entertainment, leaves you with a feeling of emptiness. I usually don't hop on a soapbox, but this travesty was a waste of money. And, seeing the conditions they have for the animals, it wouldn't suprise me if they actually pulled these teeth, for the display...........

I think Shelby and I could use this...........

Hey! It worked for Darlene and Jack!

The Circus...............

On November 12th, 2008, Mrs. H posted a note on the cupboard door in the kitchen which read " Ringling Bros. Circus, Jan. 17 3:30 pm" (the reason I know it was Nov. 12th is because the note was dated in the bottom right hand corner)

I never really thought much of it until this morning when everyone started talking about getting ready.TODAY IS JAN. 17!!! So, if y'all are wondering what we're doing today, now you know.



Something tells me that my knuckles will be covered in white grease paint by the end of the day. I'll bring the camera so y'all can enjoy the experience with us.....

Our little girl is growing up...........

One day your little girl is slobbering and chewing on her toys, the next day she goes through puberty and starts thinking of boys........With the changes come the cycles, which Shelby had to take her to the room and show her how to use the appropriate products........Where does the time go?





Next thing you know, our yard will be full of Rottweilers and Pitbulls......

Lost in Emasculation.........

The NFL playoffs are in full swing. Yesterday, as the games were on TV, I went to the movie theater with Shelby and Brianna. We saw "Bride Wars"..........

To further add to my depression, I received my Florida Driver's License today....I looked at the expiration date and the next time I have to renew it, I'll be 50!

If the ceiling fan does not support the the makeshift noose that I just made out of shoe laces and dental floss, I'm sure tomorrow will be better......

Slithering out of the Holidays

Brian and Shannon left yesterday, marking the official end of the Holiday season. Gone were the half-baked smiles, the "I Love You, Man's", and two-week old presents laying on the floor. Today was the day to get back to reality. That meant climbing onto the roof to get the neon Santa down and take down the icicles "frozen" on the the fascia board around the house.

Mr. H and I are responsible for the outside. We have yet to gain the "security clearance" to take down and pack correctly, the garland, wreath, and ornaments contained inside the household. Apparently there is a 18 week course offered to gain clearance, but I would rather look at the concrete on the back patio, expand and contract in the sun.

As Mr. H and I were taking down the exterior decor, this was hiding in the garland hanging around the door.



We have been walking through the front door for at least a month with this deadly creature just waiting to strike. It is actually amazing that we are alive.

We finally got the thing in a 50 gallon barrel, took it to the outskirts of the Everglades and set it free, to live out it's life and eat alligators, Yaks, and Yetis.

For me? I'm just thankful that I am alive to tell this "near death" experience. As they say, "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger". If that is true, I'm going to wear the stain on the back of my shorts as a badge of honor..........

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm...........

Here's a picture of my brother-in-law Brian at Disney world. I posted this pic for obvious reasons, but, after closer inspection I found something even more amusing than the 30-something kid on the painted horse. Please click on the picture to enlarge it, and look at the expression on the face of the gentleman behind Brian.


Possible captions:

--Damn! That white boy is CRAZY!

--Mmmmmm....He looks awfully good in them shorts

--Whatever that dude is smokin', I want some!

Disney "Dont's"

Dylon is back in Washington, Nick is back in Miami, Brianna is back in school, and Shelby is back on her routine. So what would I have to write about? Well, In case you haven't figured it out yet, not only do I write this to keep the three people who follow this blog on top off the wreckage that we call our life, I also write as a public service. So, as a public service, I am going to show and you how NOT to conduct yourself in a public place with 100,000 other people watching your every move.

Tip #1

People watching is almost as big as Space Mountain at Disney world. But, if you are good at it, nobody knows what you're doing. The trick is, since kids are involved, to use the children as a distraction. Never show that you are too lazy to watch your child AND people at the same time. Putting your kid on a leash? Weak....


Tip #2

Every body has seen the cute little girls, ages 1-9, wearing their cute Disney dresses. Snow White, Cinderella, Cruella DeVille, they're all super-cute. The problem comes in when you make your own poofy dress and wear to the Magic Kingdom....WHEN YOU'RE 30!!!


Tip #3

Nothing makes people get into a good mood than wearing a goofy hat, but a "GOOFY" hat? C'mon, dude, give the hat back to your kid........NOW!


Tip #4

Going into a gift shop and picking out matching hats only works at an "adult" gift shop where you wear them behind closed doors, and even then, it can be labeled "weird"..........YIKES!


TIP #5

You can take the boy out of Mims, but, you can't take Mims out of the boy....


Tip #6

It is pretty easy to blend in with a crowd as large as the ones are at Disney. Wearing camouflage clothing, despite the premise behind it, actually has a reverse effect..........


Tip #7

A 300 pound man carrying around a Tinkerbell magic wand conjures up a plethora of disturbing images.........


So, there you go, and remember, I'm here to help!