September 30th PM

We left H n H El Centro early, eager to get far away as fast as possible. I-90 was 500 feet away, what could stop us now? I turned off of Leatherface Ave onto Axe Murderer Way, only 200 feet and I was free......As I focused on the I-90 sign and dropped my foot down hard on the gas, I heard it...."Are you hungry?". Our earliest start of the trip, foiled by the aroma of flapjacks and runny eggs. We ate our breakfast quickly, got Annabelle a side of bacon and hit I-90, ready to put a hurtin' on the odometer.

I attacked the highway, we were 15mph to 70 in 3 and a half minutes. Shelby, full of flapjacks, was nodding off. This was going to be good. All I wanted was to get out of South Dakota and get to some different scenery, perhaps see a tree, a bush, a frog...anything green! This was going to be a good day, and the hope of new a frontier had me re-charged.

With my wife sleeping and my dog having pork induced convulsions, I decided to turn on the radio to break the silence....That was 14 minutes into the trip. The music woke Shelby 45 seconds later. Then, after 17 minutes on the road, I tried to whisper sweet nothings to her, I offered to buy her a new Coach purse, but it was too late, she had already seen the billboard..... NEXT EXIT 1880's TOWN! WITH ORIGINAL PROPS USED IN FILMING "DANCING WITH WOLVES"

If I would have been walking instead of driving, I would have fallen to my knees, reached my arms to the sky and asked the guy upstairs to take me home right then (in the movie, it will be raining really hard during this scene). But, I did have some hope, it was early and they might not be open. We pulled in and an evil grin spread across my face, there were no cars, the office looked dark, closed even. I parked the car and told Shelby to go check........

My head was down, telling God that if he would just let this place be closed and let us make some progress today, I would never, ever, no joking this time, EVER do that thing that........."It's only $9 dollars each!', she said.

So....Here's what $19.90 gets you......







The town was actually kind of cool, but I'm only showing you the creepy pics with the dummies, so you'll be on my side. It also confirmed a suspicion I had. I know that you all think that I might be exaggerating about being in the middle of nowhere, but, If we aren't in Bum%#@&, Egypt, what is this doing here?



I need to show you one more picture from 1880 town, when you think your life stinks, take a look at this pic, read the sign, and imagine how much worse it COULD stink!



With that , it's time to leave 1880 town and hit the road! C'mon, She...lb...y......



The rest of the day was all business, although I did see a sign for the South Dakota Hall of Fame..........

Really?

Apparently, if you maintain residency for more than 17 days, you are automatically considered for induction........

We finally got off of I-90, headed south and wound up in Rockport, Missouri. We have decided not to stay in major cities, just so you knuckleheads brush up on U.S. geography, plus the people are more interesting. Tomorrow our goal is Kentucky.....I can't wait!

September 30 AM

Just as suspected, they came in the night. Annabelle and I were able to fend them off until morning light and we survived, while my beautiful wife slept peacefully....



OK, so maybe they didn't come, but my golf club and I waited, terrified, all night long. Never, EVER, stay in this town, we just got lucky... I KNOW they are here!

We are headed out early this morning, in hopes of getting from the middle of nowhere to somewhere close to the outskirts of nowhere

September 29th

We woke up in Greybull, Wyoming with great hopes of making alot of progress. Sometimes hope is all one has........

Our trip to Yellowstone had taken us off course, but a quick look at the map told us that we were only 100 miles on Highway 14 from I-90 and some open road to make up time. Little did we know that Highway 14 east from Greybull is primarily made up of Bighorn National Forest and almost 9,000+ feet of Mountain pass and switchbacks. Now one might think that I should backtrack to Clinton, Montana to the Testicle Festival and see if I could win some in a raffle or something, but my advice to anyone taking that route, bring a few extra pairs of underoos, you'll need them.

Once we went up, and safely reached the down, we realized that we had just experienced some of the most incredible scenery that we had ever witnessed and would recommend it to anyone who might be passing through this part of the country (with said underoos, of course). The following pics are from this journey. Please keep in mind that there are perhaps even more spectacular views on this route, but we were to scared to let go of what we were gripping to grab the camera.









This next picture would've been outstanding....I just couldn't get any closer to the guardrail............



ON TO SOUTH DAKOTA!!!

We finally hit I-90 and headed for the promised trip to Mount Rushmore. Shelby had been there with her parents as a child, I had never been there. I am glad I went, she said he appreciated it more as an adult(darn kids don't appreciate anything!)

















So, we did the obligatory photos with the presidents (by the way she didn't believe it was Tom Selleck, but she didn't know who the Amish dude on the right was) and we were about to race back to I-90 to make some headway on this trip. But, although I tried to distract her and tell her it was getting late and we were going to get caught in the middle of nowhere.............










So.....We drove as far as we physically could into the middle of nowhere, we ended up in the middle of nowhere. As I write this entry, it is so dark outside that the stars look artificial. We are staying in a AAA approved place, but I think the owner has compromising pictures of a high ranking AAA executive in order to be mentioned in the AAA book. I have taken the driver and 8 iron from my golf bag into the room with me, we are staying at a place called H & H El Centro in Kadoka, South Dakota....If anything weird happens or we go missing, this is the man you should be looking for....

September 28th

Montana........... The roadkill capitol of the world........ Home of the "Testicle Festival" (Hey, even I couldn't make THAT up!) At least it provides some nice scenery.....
The problem with Montana is you can drive for three days straight and never see anyone. We stopped at a place called "Lewis and Clark's Cavern", it was on a back road to nowhere. When we entered the cavern we actually encountered a WWII Fighterpilot who thought that the war was still going on!

We then decidied to deviate from the original route and head south to Wyoming and Yellowstone National Park. Of course, in order to do that, we had to cross the Continental Divide for the third time of the day, If I have to drive over the Rockies again in my lifetime it will be too soon.

Never mind the gnome.............

So, we went to Yellowstone with two objectives...1) See Old Faithful (or, as Shelby kept calling it, "Old Geyser") and 2) See a bear.... We just missed Old Geyser, and since we were on limited time, Shelby had a choice of waiting another hour to watch Old Geyser or stand in line for an hour and a half for an ice cream cone. I'm not sure what Old Faithful looks like when it blows, but it sure sounded cool from the snack bar..........


As for the bear, here is the proof, and just like that grainy Bigfoot video, you'll have to form your own opinion.....If you look just right-center of the picture, Shelby saw the black thing on the other side of the creek....It didn't move for 15 minutes, but maybe it was playing possum....You be the judge..


Time to go for today, here's a picture of Yellowstone Lake, Tomorrow, we see Mt. Rushmore. I'm going to tell shelby that Teddy Roosevelt is really Tom Selleck with glasses on....Hasta Manana!

September 27th

Like a couple of teenagers headed back to college, we packed the car full and headed out on the road. As you can tell from the picture, we strategically packed the car to insure Annabelle's comfort (she's laying across John's golf clubs).

Our fist day took us across Washington, Idaho, and into Montana. We were going to share driving duties equally throughout trip, but after Shelby showed more interest in taking in the sights while driving than keep her eyes on the road, she's been relegated to being John's personal navigation system.

September 25...........

Brianna left for Florida on Wednesday and, if the phone calls every 7 and a half minutes to Shelby are any indication, she doesn't miss Washington at all.............

We are leaving Arlington, Wa Saturday morning and plan to drive to somewhere in Montana before resting for the night. We only have to cross 4 mountain passes our first day including the Continental Divide, so hopefully we'll get lucky and see some snow, since it may be the last time we get to play in it for awhile........

A New Begining

We have decided to leave the green, mountainous state of Washington and move to the topographically challenged state of Florida! Goodbye butterflies, spotted owls, and goldfinches...........Hello Gators, pygmy rattlesnakes, and spinner sharks!

Look for updates as we travel across our great country and try to efficiantly travel from left side to right side, while still still seeking the the worlds largest ball of yarn............Where is that, by the way?